Ayub: Mama why is he so old? (Points to random stranger)
Me: I don’t know. People get old. Stop pointing.
Ayub: He’s soooooo old.
Me: Stop it Ayub.
Ayub: Old like a grandmother.
Me: That’s a man.
Ayub: Ayah is a man.
Me: Yes
Ayub: Later Ayah become old like a grandmother.
Sulaiman loves to upset Ayub. He did it here, and again here. This is what happened yesterday when they decided to play next to a table.
Ayub: Hahaha see Sulaiman is small. He stuck like bang his head! Ayub not small. Ayub is tall.
Me: Yup. Ayub is taller than Sulaiman.
Ayub: No-O-o-o Sulaiman not taller than Ayub.
Me: I know. I said Ayub is taller than Sulaiman.
Ayub: Mamaaaa no-O-o-o Sulaiman not taller!
Me: What’s going on? Ok. Ayub is tall. Ayub is six years old.
Ayub: Yah Ayub is six years old 🙂
Sulaiman: Sulaiman is small.
(Pause for a time to reflect)
Sulaiman: Sulaiman is taller than Ayub.
Ayub: No-O-o-o-o-o Sulaimaaaaaan! NOOOOOO! (starts ranting on the verge of tears)
While we were on vacation, the door of the bathroom in the homestay we rented didn’t lock. Sulaiman walks in on me while I’m showering.
Sulaiman: Mama whachu doin?
Me: Taking a shower. Go away please.
Sulaiman: Hey! Where’s your pepet?!
Me: I’m a girl I don’t have a pepet. Only boys have pepet.
Sulaiman: Mama not a girl. Mama is a oh-man. Ayah is a man. Sulaiman is…
Me: Go away sulaimaaaaaan…
Sulaiman: Mama why your pepet so small?
Me: I’m closing the door I love you bye.
Sulaiman: I cannot seeeeee your pepet.
Me: Sulaimaaaaaan! Move, I want to close the door.
Sulaiman: Sulaiman pepet is small. But Mama pepet is smaller.
Me: Go away.
Ayub really loves babies. This conversation happened a day after this one. Again in the van.
Ayub: Awww so cute the baby!
Me: Yes, he’s very cute.
Ayub: The baby is a…
Me: Oh I know this one! A human. The baby is a human.
Ayub: Yes. Baby is a human.
Me: A cute little baby human boy.
Ayub: No Mama. It’s not a boy. It’s a baby.
Me: He is a baby boy.
Ayub: No-O-o-o… not a boy. Baby is a baby. Later baby become boy or girl. Baby is baby.
Me: Woah… is that how the world works for you?
Ayub: First it’s baby baby. Ayub is a boy not a baby. Later Ayub become a man. Like Ayah. Ayah is a man. But Ayah was a boy then become a man. Mama is a woh-man. Before Mama was a girl. But Ayub not a girl. Ayub is a boy. And the baby is a baby. Later baby become boy and man or baby become girl and woh-man.
Me: Sooooo… Baby is not a boy?
Ayub: No. Not boy.
Me: And baby is not a girl?
Ayub: No. Baby is baby.
Me: Hmmm… ok.
We just got back from a mini-vacation where we traveled with Mr Ninja’s childhood friends. This conversation happened in the van we were in. The baby and his parents were seated in the row in front of us.
Ayub: Aww the baby so cute!
Me: Yeah, he’s so cute.
Ayub: The baby is a… What mama?
Me: What, what?
Ayub: The baby. So cute baby. Is a…
Me: I don’t know… What are you asking me?
Ayub: I don’t know. What’s that?
Me: What’s what?
Ayub: The baby…
Me: Yes..?
Ayub: The baby is… a human!
Me: Hahaha. Of course he’s a human. What else would he be? He’s not an alien.
Sulaiman: (whispering) He’s a zombie.
Ayub: No sulaiman! No! That baby is a HUMAN!
Sulaiman: (still whispering) I… am… a zombieeeee…