If A Boy Isn’t A Boy, What Is He?

Ayub: Ayah is a man. Mama is a oh-man. Ayub is a boy.

Me: What about Sulaiman?

Sulaiman: Sulaiman is a sister.

Me: Nooooo…

Sulaiman: Ayub is a brother.

Me: Yes.

Sulaiman: And Sulaiman is a sister.

Ayub: And Ayah is a man.

Me: Yes. Ayah is a man. Mama is a woman. Ayub is a boy. But Sulaiman is not a sister because Sulaiman is a…

Sulaiman: NUGGET!

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What My Kids Think I Do All Day

Me: How was school today?

Ayub: I’m sooooo tired.

Me: Awwww… Poor baby.

Ayub: Yah. Ayub work so hard. Just like Ayah.

Me: You work hard like Ayah?

Ayub: Yah. Ayub work in school. Ayah work in the office.

Me: What about Mama?

Ayub: Mama stay home and play.

Me: Whaaa… Mama works in the same office as Ayah!

Ayub: No. Ayah work in the office and Mama stay home play.

Sulaiman: NO! Mama is not stay home and play.

Me: That’s right! Thank you Sulaiman.

Sulaiman: Mama is stay home and sleep only.

Me: 🙁

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What Does Your Fart Sound Like?

I fart in front of the kids. 

Me: Oh, what was that?!

Ayub: Sulaiman fart!

Sulaiman: No! Ayub fart!

Ayub: No not Ayub. Sulaiman! Fart like “pomb!”

Sulaiman: No Sulaiman not fart like “pomb!” Sulaiman fart like “pfffffffft.”

Me: Sulaiman fart like “pfffffft?!”

Sulaiman: No mama. It’s quiet… (he whispers) like “pffffffffffffffft.”

Ayub: That’s disgusting. Ayub fart like “POMB!”

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