Ayub: Mama I know where eggs come from!
Me: Yeah? Where do they come from?
Ayub: The chicken’s butt!
Sulaiman: (laughing hysterically) Yeah! The egg come from the butt!
Ayub: The chicken poop the egg!
Sulaiman: Like “pooooop!”
Ayub: Then we eat it!
Category: Ayub & Sulaiman
What Happens When the Internet Goes Down
Lying down in bed nursing morning sickness and havoc breaks loose in our little home… Ayub is on the laptop, Sulaiman is playing with my phone, Mr Ninja is playing on his PC…
Mr Ninja: The internet is down!
Me: Oh.
Mr Ninja: Can I use your phone to call Unifi?
Me: Yah. I think Sulaiman has it.
Overheard as Mr Ninja walks to the living room where the kids are…
Mr Ninja: Sulaiman..? Sulaiman, Ayah needs to use Mama’s phone.
Ayub: Sulaiman don’t know how to spell “YouTube”
Mr Ninja: There’s no internet so there’s no YouTube
Sulaiman: I want YouTube!!!
Mr Ninja: There’s no internet…
Ayub: How to spell YouTube? Sulaiman don’t know.
Mr Ninja: I need to call the internet company to fix the internet…
Sulaiman: Ayah, Mama phone not working!
Mr Ninja: Give me Mama’s phone…
Ayub: The computer is broken!
Mr Ninja: There’s NO internet…
Sulaiman bursts into tears.
Mr Ninja: -_-‘
Urgh, men.
At a restaurant for dinner, waiter gives the boys colored pencils to doodle on their paper placemats.
Ayub: I want to draw Mama!
(doodling with pencil and paper)
Ayub: Mama got a big head… And big eyes…
Sulaiman: And big boobs!
Ayub: And BIG SMILE!
Sulaiman: And BIG BOOBS! (pointing at my chest) Ayub don’t forget the boobs like circle circle.
The Time I Gave Birth to a Briton
Just want to add that I feel really irritated that kindergarten teachers feel the need to point out the children’s ethnicities/races. Is that really an essential part of the educational syllabus? Makes me sad. But Ayub makes me laugh.
Sulaiman: I’m Melayu.
Me: Is that what your teacher told you?
Sulaiman: Yeah. I’m Melayu.
Me: Well, actually you’re Melayu and Cina. You’re mixed. Malay and Chinese, ok?
Sulaiman: What about Mama?
Me: Mama is mixed Malay and Chinese too. But it’s not important because we’re all Malaysians.
Ayub: No I’m not, I’m English.
He’s Not Wrong…
Sulaiman: I’m Malaysian.
Me: Yes you are.
Sulaiman: I’m from Malaysia.
Me: Clever baby. What about you Ayub? Where are you from?
Ayub: Uhhh… Here.
Me: Yeah, what’s this place called?
Ayub: Earth.