Ayub: Oh my God Sulaiman your head is oval!
Sulaiman: Nooooo!
Ayub: Yeah, your head! It’s so oval!! Hahahahaha!
Sulaiman: NOOOOO!!
Ayub: Mama, look at Sulaiman’s head! It’s OVAL!
Sulaiman: It’s NOT oval!
Me: Oh? What shape is your head then?
Sulaiman: Circle.
I walk into the living room to find Ayub playing on the computer and Sulaiman curled up and concentrating with a pencil and book.
Me: Whachu doin Sulaiman?
Sulaiman: Homework.
Me: Whaa… You got homework?!
Sulaiman: No, this is Ayub’s homework.
Me: Hey, no… You can’t do Ayub’s homework. Ayub?
Ayub: It’s ok Mama. I don’t want to do it. Sulaiman want to do.
Me: No no no… Sulaiman stop. You can’t do Ayub’s homework for him. Ayub you have to do your own homework.
Sulaiman: But I want to do homework!!
Ayub: And I don’t want to do homework!!
Me: It doesn’t work that way, I’m sorry…
Sulaiman bursts into tears and multi-feet-stamp-tantrums. The page of homework he completed for Ayub is of course 100% perfect.
Tucked the kids into bed and went to watch TV in the living room. They are talking VERY loudly in their room.
Me: (from the living room) Ayub, Sulaiman… Go to sleep babies…
(from their room)
Sulaiman: Yeah Ayub, Mama say go to sleep!
Ayub: No YOU go to sleep!
Sulaiman: Ayub sleep NOW!
Ayub: SULAIMAN SLEEP!!
Me: (from the living room) Ayub, Sulaiman… Both of you go to sleep…
(silence)
Sulaiman: MAMAAAA!! Ayub say he don’t want to sleep!
Ayub: NOOOOO!! Ayub not say! Ayub sleeping now! Ayub already sleeping!!
Sulaiman: No Ayub is TALKING!!!
Ayub: Stop it SULAIMAN!
Me: Ayuuuub… Sulaimaaaaaaan…
(silence)
15 minutes later Sulaiman walks into the living room…
Sulaiman: Mama. Ayub is sleeping now.
Me: Ok baby. Thank you.
Sulaiman toddles away back to bed.
Ayub and Sulaiman jump on me for a Good Morning cuddle…
Me: Ow, careful Ayub. You’re squishing the baby in my tummy.
Ayub: What? The baby is still there?
Me: Yeah, baby will be there for a long time.
Ayub: What’s it doing in there?
Me: I don’t know. Maybe sleeping, maybe baby is playing.
Ayub: But what… What… What’s it doing in there?
Me: Oh… God put baby in my tummy.
Ayub: Oh my God…
Me: Yeah, that God.
Sulaiman: I don’t like it. Give it back Mama.
Me: Give it back?
Sulaiman: I don’t want baby in the Mama tummy. I want Mama give it back to God.
Driving home and we pass a lot of Malaysian flags, which Ayub has been calling “merdaraku,” “berdarahku” and other similar alternatives.
Ayub: Merdaraku? Why got so many merdaraku Mama?
Me: Merdaraku is not a word. There’s merdeka which means “independence,” and there’s negaraku which means “my country.”
Ayub: Oh yah!
Me: And that is the Malaysian flag. We call that jalur gemilang.
Ayub: Jalolamalang?
Me: Jalur gemilang, which means… What does it mean Ayah?
Mr Ninja: Uhhh… Glorious stripes..?
Me: Ok, done. Jalur gemilang means glorious stripes.
Sulaiman: No it’s not jalur gemilang, it’s JAGUNG gemilang.
Mr Ninja: (whispering) The Glorious Corn…
