Category: Just Ayub

The World According to Ayub

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Ayub really loves babies. This conversation happened a day after this one. Again in the van.

Ayub: Awww so cute the baby!

Me: Yes, he’s very cute.

Ayub: The baby is a…

Me: Oh I know this one! A human. The baby is a human.

Ayub: Yes. Baby is a human.

Me: A cute little baby human boy.

Ayub: No Mama. It’s not a boy. It’s a baby.

Me: He is a baby boy.

Ayub: No-O-o-o… not a boy. Baby is a baby. Later baby become boy or girl. Baby is baby.

Me: Woah… is that how the world works for you?

Ayub: First it’s baby baby. Ayub is a boy not a baby. Later Ayub become a man. Like Ayah. Ayah is a man. But Ayah was a boy then become a man. Mama is a woh-man. Before Mama was a girl. But Ayub not a girl. Ayub is a boy. And the baby is a baby. Later baby become boy and man or baby become girl and woh-man.

Me: Sooooo… Baby is not a boy?

Ayub: No. Not boy.

Me: And baby is not a girl?

Ayub: No. Baby is baby.

Me: Hmmm… ok.

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Ayub Just Realized Everybody Has A Name… And He Wants To Know It.

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This happens nearly every time we go out to the grocery store or any public place.

Ayub: What’s his name?

Me: Who?

Ayub: That man. (Points to random stranger) What’s his name?

Me: I don’t know. Stop pointing.

Ayub: But what’s his naaaaaame?!

Me: I… Bob. His name is Bob.

Ayub: His name is Bob mama?  His name is Bob?

Me: Yes. His name is Bob.

Ayub: What’s his name? (Points to another random person)

Me: George.

Ayub: George mama? His name is George?

Me: Yes.

Ayub: What’s his name? (This usually goes on for approximately forever)

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build a money machine peng joon

The Time The Police Nearly Arrested Me And Sent Me To Jail

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Me: Ayub, be careful with that book…

Ayub: I don’t know.

Me: What don’t you know baby?

Ayub: I don’t know why got money, money, money, so many money everywhere.

Me: Oh, it’s because this book is about making money online.

(Ayub opens the book and sees the picture of the author on the inner sleeve)

Ayub: Hey! It’s that him. It’s Uncle Binju.

Me: Yeah! This is Uncle Peng Joon’s book.

Ayub: This is Uncle Binju book?

Me: Yup.

Ayub: Why… why the Mama have Uncle Binju book? Cannot take other people book. That’s naughty. Wait the police come, take Mama, put Mama in the jail!

Me: No no no… Uncle Peng Joon gave me this book, as a present. It’s my book. But Uncle Peng Joon wrote it.

Ayub: …are you suuuuure Mama?

Me: Yes.

Ayub: …ok. But cannot take other people things. Wait the police come and you go to jail.

Me: Ok Ayub.

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My 6-Year Old Doctor

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I’ve been suffering from strep throat and haven’t been able to speak for the past three days. We went to the doctor this morning and by my second antibiotic this evening I was able to speak.

Me: Ayub look! I can talk!

Ayub: Oh yeah! That’s good Mama. Wait… I want to see your tongue.

I stick out my tongue

Ayub: (nodding) Uh-huh, uh-huh. Now open your mouth.

I open my mouth

Ayub: Hmmm… It’s better Mama. You take your ubat (medicine)?

Me: Yes.

Ayub: Ok. Doctor says Mama have to eat all the ubat. And drink lots of water. Ok, Mama?

Me: Ok Ayub 🙂

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yummy chicken

How To Win Any Argument

The Ninja Leave a comment

 

Ayub: I don’t want chicken.

Me: Eat your chicken, it’s yummy.

Ayub: No, it’s not yummy.

Me: It’s good for you. Eat your chicken, then you’ll be big and strong like Ayah.

Ayub: Ayah is a man.

Me: Yup. If you eat your chicken you’ll be a big, strong man like Ayah.

(Ayub pokes at his chicken and starts eating a few pieces)

Ayub: Mama?

Me: Yes?

Ayub: I don’t want to be a man. I want to be a boy. I don’t want to eat chicken. Chicken make Ayub a man. Ayub is a boy.

Me: Ok. But if you eat your chicken, you’ll be a strong, tall boy. Don’t you want to be a strong, tall boy?

(Ayub goes back to poking his chicken and eating a few more pieces)

Ayub: Mama?

Me: Yes?

Ayub: Ayub don’t want to be strong, tall boy. Ayub want to be Ayub.

Me: But…

Ayub: No. Ayub is Ayub.

(And that’s final apparently!)

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