We’re having lunch at a busy food court in a packed mall. A rather overweight man squeezes his way past Ayub’s chair…
Ayub: OH MY GOD MAMA! Look at that man. He’s SO FAT!
Me: Ayub..!
Ayub: Oh My GOOOODDDDD. He’s SOOOOOOOOO FAT!
Me: (whispering) Ayub, shhhhh… Dont’ say that. It’s very rude.
Ayub: (at exactly the same loud volume as before) It’s very rude Mama? Yeah! He’s so FAT and RUUUUUDE!
Whoever you are, I’m so sorry.
Before we get into this weird Ayub gem, I just have to say that Ayub isn’t racist. When he says black or white, he means the colors not the races. It’s funny to me because society has placed labels on people to separate them from each other, and Ayub has no concept of that.
So anyway… This conversation happened about a month after Ayub and Sulaiman met Mr Ninja (who isn’t black, but more of a dark brown imo.) We were already engaged so I told the kids to call him Ayah rather than Uncle Ninja.
Ayub: Hi Ayah!
Mr Ninja: Hi Ayub!
Ayub: Ayah… Why you so black?
Mr Ninja: wut?
Ayub: (laughing) You’re so black Ayah! Why you so black?
Mr Ninja: You’re black too! Look at your knees! They’re black.
Ayub: Yeah! Ayub knees are black! Hahahahaha. But Ayah is sooooo black!
(Ayub runs to my room)
Ayub: Mama! Mama! Ayah is black!
Me: lul.
Ayub: Ayah is black but Mama and Ayub are white.
Me: Saywhatnow?
Ayub: (laughing hysterically) Yeaaaaah! Ayah is black.
Ayub: Mama?
Me: Yes Ayub?
Ayub: I want a sword.
Me: No. I’m not getting you a sword.
Ayub: But I want a sword.
Me: You’ll end up hitting Sulaiman.
Ayub: But I want a sword.
Me: No. It’s dangerous.
Ayub pauses.
Ayub: Mama?
Me: Is this about the sword?
Ayub: Yes.
Me: Why do you need a sword?
Ayub: To kill zombies.
Ayub came home with a homework assignment. To trace the dotted lines for the numbers 1 and 2. He refused to do it. Then this morning he hid is school uniform in the dining table drawer. Hahahahahahha. He is so awesome. My little badass!