Sulaiman: Mamaaaa… I’m done!
Me: Did you finish pooping?
Sulaiman: Yah. I poop one big and two small. Like “poop poop.”
Me: You sure you’re done? Poop some more and I’ll come back later.
Sulaiman: Mamaaaaa… I’m done!!!
Me: Ok ok…
(washing his butt and he poops in my hand)
Sulaiman: Oh not done!
Me: …
Sulaiman: …
Sulaiman: Ok! Now I’m done!
Sulaiman: Mama, what is this?
Me: That’s my leg.
Sulaiman: Nope. That’s fat.
Me: 🙁
Sulaiman: Mama, I’m a teacher and I’m going to teach you.
Me: Ok Teacher Sulaiman. What are you going to teach me?
Sulaiman: I’m going to teach you coloring.
(Takes out his coloring book and colored pencils and sets them up in front of me)
Sulaiman: I want you to color this part orange, ok Mama?
Me: Ok.
Sulaiman: Are you done?
Me: I guess so.
Sulaiman: Give me the pencil. Come on. Quickly now. Quickly.
Me: Here you go.
Sulaiman: Thank you. What do you say?
Me: You’re welcome Teacher.
Sulaiman: Well done. Now color this part purple, yes?
Me: Yeah.
Sulaiman: Excuse me? Is it yeah or yes?
Me: Errr… yes Teacher.
Sulaiman: Good boy Mama. You are a very clever boy.
Sulaiman: Mama, where’s Ayah?
Me: He’s in the toilet.
Sulaiman: Oh no. Ayah is broken in the toilet.
Me: What do you mean?
Sulaiman: Ayah is don’t know how to shishi.
Me: Ayah doesn’t know how to shishi?
Sulaiman: Yeah, Ayah is broken. Only Sulaiman and Ayub and Mama know how to shishi in the toilet. Ayah shishi on the floor.
Sulaiman: Hey! What’s that?
Me: It’s a bra.
Sulaiman: Braaaa.
Me: …
Sulaiman: Mama, why you want braaaa?
Me: I have to wear it to support my boobs.
Sulaiman: Boooooobs.
Me: …
Sulaiman: Mama, what is boooobs?
Me: They make milk for babies like you.
Sulaiman: What?!
Me: When you were a baby you drank milk from my boobs. Milk came out of my boobs. And you drank it.
Sulaiman: NO WAY!
Me: It’s true.
Sulaiman: No way I no drink boooooobs! Ewwwww!