The Best Worst One-Liners So Far

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Sulaiman: Mama! I color on the wall so many beautiful color!

Ayub: Mama! I poke Sulaiman eye with the pencil but I already say sorry!

Me: What are you eating?

Sulaiman: I don’t know. I found it on the floor.

Sulaiman: Mama! I poo poo in the bathtub!

Ayub: Mama! I poo poo in my shorts!

Ayub: Mama! Sulaiman spill all the Milo! On the table… And the floor… And the computer…

Sulaiman: Mama! I broke the computer!

Ayub: Mama! Sulaiman broke Mama phone!

Me: Why is Sulaiman crying?

Ayub: Because I punch his face.

 

 

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Now I Know What Goes on in School…

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Sulaiman: Mama, I’m a teacher and I’m going to teach you.

Me: Ok Teacher Sulaiman. What are you going to teach me?

Sulaiman: I’m going to teach you coloring.

(Takes out his coloring book and colored pencils and sets them up in front of me)

Sulaiman: I want you to color this part orange, ok Mama?

Me: Ok.

Sulaiman: Are you done?

Me: I guess so.

Sulaiman: Give me the pencil. Come on. Quickly now. Quickly.

Me: Here you go.

Sulaiman: Thank you. What do you say?

Me: You’re welcome Teacher.

Sulaiman: Well done. Now color this part purple, yes?

Me: Yeah.

Sulaiman: Excuse me? Is it yeah or yes?

Me: Errr… yes Teacher.

Sulaiman: Good boy Mama. You are a very clever boy.

 

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Because Men Don’t Know How to Aim

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Sulaiman: Mama, where’s Ayah?

Me: He’s in the toilet.

Sulaiman: Oh no. Ayah is broken in the toilet.

Me: What do you mean?

Sulaiman: Ayah is don’t know how to shishi.

Me: Ayah doesn’t know how to shishi?

Sulaiman: Yeah, Ayah is broken. Only Sulaiman and Ayub and Mama know how to shishi in the toilet. Ayah shishi on the floor.

 

 

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Where Do Babies Come From?

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Ayub: Mama what’s 2015 mean? Why 2015 Mama?

Me: 2015 is the year we are in. You were born 6 years ago in the year 2009. That’s your birth year.

Ayub: 2009 is my birthday year?

Me: Yup, that’s the year you were born. You used to live in my tummy you know?

Ayub: Yeah! When Ayub was a small baby I live in Mama tummy!

Me: Yes you did.

Ayub: And then Mama poop and Ayub come out.

Me: I guess so.

Ayub: Mama poop and Ayub slide out like wheeeeeeeee!

 

 

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