How to Use Sibling Rivalry to Your Advantage

The Ninja Leave a comment

Me: Ayub… Sulaiman… Time to sleep. Go get ready for bed.

Ayub & Sulaiman: (speaking on top of each other, not in unison) Noooo… Don’t want bed. I want to play. Don’t want Mama…

Me: Go and shishi, brush teeth and change into your pajamas please…

Ayub & Sulaiman: I don’t want. No. Don’t want to brush teeth and sleep. Don’t want (etc etc)

Me: Wow! Who’s going to get ready first? Who’s going to be the winner?

(Ayub and Sulaiman jump up and sprint to the bathroom before I can finish my sentence)

Ayub: Me! Me! I’m the winner!

Sulaiman: No! Sulaiman the winner! Sulaiman is faster!

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Just When My Confidence In Cooking Was Increasing…

The Ninja Leave a comment

Sulaiman: Mama, my bum-bum is so pain.

Me: Do you wanna poo-poo?

Sulaiman: Yeah. The poo-poo all in my tummy. Now my bum-bum is pain.

Me: Let’s go to the toilet…

Sulaiman: My tummy got so many poo-poo. Sulaiman is full of poo-poo.

Me: Ok.

Sulaiman: Why I eat the poo-poo? Now got poo-poo in my tummy.

Me: You didn’t eat poo-poo. You ate food and now that food is poo-poo.

Sulaiman: Mama cooking food. Mama’s food is poo-poo.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail
lego phone

Introducing the Brand New iLego Phone

The Ninja Leave a comment

Tasneem spent quite a lot her time helping Sulaiman write in his notebook and compose emails to their grandmother over the weekend. After she went home this happened…

 

Sulaiman: Look Mama, I made a telephone!

(Shows me his lego telephone creation)

Me: Wow that’s cool.

Sulaiman: I’m going to call Tasneem…

(“Dials” Tasneem’s phone number)

Sulaiman: Hello? Hi, this is Sulaiman.

(pause)

Sulaiman: Yeah, whachu doin?

(pause)

Sulaiman: You writing an email?

(pause)

Sulaiman: Oh… You writing a blog post. That’s nice.

(pause)

Sulaiman: Yeah. You are a good boy Tasneem!

(pause)

Sulaiman: What?

(pause)

Sulaiman: What?!

(pause)

Sulaiman: I can’t hear you…

(pause)

Sulaiman: Yeah, I can’t hear youuuuuu…

(pause)

Sulaiman: Tasneem. You have to speak louder!

(pause)

Sulaiman: Ok. Ok. Yeah.

(pause)

Sulaiman: Uh-huh. Ok. I love you bye.

(Sulaiman hangs up)

Me: What did Tasneem say?

Sulaiman: I don’t know. I cannot hear her. She speak so soft.

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail

How To Use Farts To Diffuse Any Situation

The Ninja Leave a comment

With so many kids sleeping over, I decided to bathe the younger boys together to save time. Naked and splashing water in the bathroom are Ayub (6), Idriss (5), Shuibb (4) and Sulaiman (3).

 

Ayub: (pointing at Idriss’ boy bits) Hey, your pepet is big!

Idriss: (looking down at his boy bits) Yeah! Hahahahaha…

Ayub: Me too. I big too.

Idriss: No! Mine is bigger!

Ayub: No! Mine bigger!

Sulaiman: Mine is small.

(The three boys start arguing over size when suddenly…)

Ayub: I FARTED!

(Boys burst into laughter. Crisis averted.)

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Males At Any Age Will Never Understand What Women Go Through Every Month…

The Ninja Leave a comment

This is a reader submission (translated from Malay) from Angah Manja via Children Speak Funny’s Facebook page:

Conversation between my sis and my nephew:-

Ilman: You don’t have to solat (pray)?

Me: Nope.

Ilman: Why?

Me: Because I feel weak…

Ilman: You’re having your period?

Me: Yes

Ilman: You mean you don’t just get your period one time when you’re 12 years old? It happens every month? You mean next month you’ll have your period again?

Me: Yesss…

Ilman: Until when?

Me: Until I’m 50 or 60…

Ilman: Woah!!! Good thing I only need to be circumcised once!

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail