(While bathing Ayub, he points to his nipple)
Ayub: mama what’s this thing?
Me: a nipple.
Ayub: a nipple mama? I got a nipple? What’s it doing there?
Me: hmmm…
Ayub: mama? What does a nipple do? What’s it for? Why is it… Why is it… Why nipple mama?
*speechlesssssss*
Shuibb is my 4 year old nephew. He was busy squirting imaginary webbing from his wrists and kungfu kicking the air when I asked him…
Me: Shuibb, do you want some water?
Shuibb: Haiyah! Haiyah! Psst psst!
Me: Shuibb?
Shuibb: No.
Me: No?
Shuibb: I’m not Shuibb!
Me: Who are you then?
Shuibb: I’m… SpidermanNinjaShuibb!
Me: Okaaay… SpidermanNinjaShuibb, do you want some water?
Shuibb: No.
My niece Tasneem (9 yo) and three of her brothers, Yusuff (8 yo), Idriss (5 yo) and Shuibb (4 yo) came for a sleepover party at my place over the weekend.
Posters placed illegally at traffic lights are commonplace here so we never give it a second look. Children on the other hand…
And FYI, ubat kuat lelaki translates directly to “strong medicine for men” and is a given that it’s some dodgy, non-tested, non-approved version of viagra…
(In the car, Tasneem sits in front with Mr Ninja while the 5 boys and I are in the backseat)
Tasneem: Adult toys? Adult toys? Uncle Ninja, what are adult toys?
Mr Ninja: errrr… they’re toys for adults
Tasneem: Toys for adults? Like what? What kind of toys do adults play with?
Mr Ninja: (complete blank)
Me: Boring toys that kids wouldn’t be interested in…
Tasneem: Like what Ah Yee?
Me: hmmm… What do you think adult toys are?
Tasneem: I don’t know. Like mechanical things and stuff?
Me: Yes. Mechanical things and stuff. That’s actually exactly what adult toys are.
Tasneem: Do you play with adult toys Ah Yee?
Me: No, I prefer just playing with Uncle Ninja.
Mr Ninja: heeheeheehee
(traffic light turns green and we slowly move forward, crisis averted)
Yusuff: (from the backseat) Adult toys? What are adult toys?
Idriss: Yeah, what are adult toys Ah Yee..?
I’m just glad none of the kids speak Malay otherwise I’m sure they’d be bugging us about “strong medicine for men…” 😛
I fart in front of the kids.
Me: Oh, what was that?!
Ayub: Sulaiman fart!
Sulaiman: No! Ayub fart!
Ayub: No not Ayub. Sulaiman! Fart like “pomb!”
Sulaiman: No Sulaiman not fart like “pomb!” Sulaiman fart like “pfffffffft.”
Me: Sulaiman fart like “pfffffft?!”
Sulaiman: No mama. It’s quiet… (he whispers) like “pffffffffffffffft.”
Ayub: That’s disgusting. Ayub fart like “POMB!”