Category: My Sister’s Kids

A Reader Submission From My 9-yr Old Niece

The Ninja Leave a comment

Nothing gets me more excited than receiving Reader Submissions for Children Speak Funny.

Earlier this evening I received a bunch of messages from my 9-yr old niece, Tasneem, using her grandmother’s phone.

children speak say funny things

children kids speak say funny things

Isn’t that adorable?!

Tasneem is 9, Yusuff is 8, Idriss is 5 and Shuibb is 4.

I wrote a transcript of the alleged conversations based on Tasneem’s story:

 

Yusuff is sick taking medication. His little brother Shuibb thinks medicine is nice…

Tasneem: Hi Shuibb!

Shuibb: (fake sneezing) *atoo *atoo… I’m sick.

Tasneem: Really? You’re sick?

Shuibb: Yeah, I’m sick. I want medicine.

Tasneem: If you’re sick then go upstairs and rest with Yusuff.

Shuibb: No! I’m not sick!

 

The next day Shuibb is down with a runny nose…

Tasneem: Shuibb, are you sick?

Idriss: (out of nowhere) Now you have to eat yucky medicine!

Shuibb: I’M NOT SICK!!!

The End.

 

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail

Boys and Breasts

The Ninja Leave a comment

Lunch with my nephews Yusuff (8) and Idriss (5).

 

Yusuff: What part of the chicken is this Ah Yee?

Me: That’s the breast…

(I motion to my chest and Yusuff makes a cheeky face)

Me: (realizing my mistake…) The chest. It’s the chest of the chicken.

Yusuff: The chicken BREAST?!

Me: Yeah. That’s the chicken breast. Which is the chest area of the chicken.

Yusuff: Heeheehee…

Idriss: Chicken BREAST! Heeheehee…

Yusuff: I’m eating breast.

Idriss: You’re going to turn into a chicken BREAST! Heeheehee…

Yusuff: Heeheehee… (chomps away at the chicken breast.)

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail

How To Use Farts To Diffuse Any Situation

The Ninja Leave a comment

With so many kids sleeping over, I decided to bathe the younger boys together to save time. Naked and splashing water in the bathroom are Ayub (6), Idriss (5), Shuibb (4) and Sulaiman (3).

 

Ayub: (pointing at Idriss’ boy bits) Hey, your pepet is big!

Idriss: (looking down at his boy bits) Yeah! Hahahahaha…

Ayub: Me too. I big too.

Idriss: No! Mine is bigger!

Ayub: No! Mine bigger!

Sulaiman: Mine is small.

(The three boys start arguing over size when suddenly…)

Ayub: I FARTED!

(Boys burst into laughter. Crisis averted.)

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail
elsa anna frozen

My Son And I Are Sisters

The Ninja Leave a comment

My niece (Tasneem, 9) and her three brothers (Yusuff, 8/Idriss, 5/Shuibb, 4) slept over on the weekend. The boys slept on mattresses on the floor in the living room, Tasneem wanted to sleep on the sofa by herself. 

Me: Tasneem can do whatever she wants because she’s my princess.

Tasneem: Yay!

Ayub: What’s a princess? Why Tasneem princess, Mama?

Me: Because she’s a girl.

Tasneem: What are you Ayub? Are you a princess?

Ayub: I’m a King! A King that sleep on the floor.

Tasneem: What about you Sulaiman? Are you a prince?

Sulaiman: No. I’m Elsa.

Me: Elsa is a queen…

Sulaiman: Yah. I am Elsa. Mama, you are Anna.

Me: Yay!

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail

A Case Study Example Of A Child Being Adorable Without Even Knowing It

The Ninja Leave a comment

Me: Gosh, you’re getting so tall Tasneem. How old are you again? 6? 7?

Tasneem: No! I’m 9 years old!

Me: 9 years old?! Wow. You’re sooooooo grown up now.

Tasneem: 🙂

Me: How old do you think Uncle Ninja is?

Tasneem: Hmmm… I’m not sure. I think he looks… 18.

Mr Ninja: 🙂

Me: What about me?

Tasneem: Oh! You look much younger than Uncle Ninja. I think you must be 16!

Me: 🙂

Sulaiman: No Mama is not 16. Mama is three years old like Sulaiman. Sulaiman is three years old. Mama is three years old.

Tasneem: (speaking slowly) Oh-kay Sulaiman. If you say so.

 

Tasneem gives me a sideways look and smiles as if to say, “…children!”

Facebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmail